No motivation

I know it's been a few days, I just haven't had any motivation to write. Dad got laid off, mom can't find a new job, and now the only person working is my FI, which kinda sucks. Money's really tight, and I still have a few things to pay for. Unfortunately those things are the most expensive. Ugh. I just feel kinda depressed. I asked my mom about a shower, but I just don't feel in the spirit. I just want these few months to go by and to get this over with. I just can't get excited about anything right now. I haven't slept well in a while and I just don't care for anything much anymore. I can't think of anything to get me at least out of this depression. I feel like I'm harping on my plans, just to keep it in the front of my mind, but everyone around me is just getting annoyed. Which is understandable. I mean, think about it, if you heard someone talk about something, almost to the point of obsession, you'd get annoyed too. The sad thing is, even thinking about it makes me kind of sad. I am almost afraid to talk about it now, just because mom gets annoyed and sad because her hands are tied, and I don't want to be sad anymore. And the thing is, I offered to push the wedding back for a while, but my parents said to go through with it.... and they expect me to not worry about paying for the rest of it....